Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
