Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize