my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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