No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
