tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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