if only i could text you this smell
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
