It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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