I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
