ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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