I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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