Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
