omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We named our party play list daddy issues
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
should my penis look like a turkey
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
