this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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