So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
