uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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