There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
