I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
