just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
