What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
