Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
