but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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