i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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