i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
