he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
