She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
