There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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