If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
