i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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