you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
