I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So vagazzling was a success
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
