Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
