HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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