So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How naked do you want me to be?
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