My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
