Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
