so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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