I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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