I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
