you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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