Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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