Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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