i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
