matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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