she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
