shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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