Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
