that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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