pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
