this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
