I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
