its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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