i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
ttyl tear gas
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
