you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
