i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
