We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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