if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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