Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
