he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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