I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
