Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
