does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
