exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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